Thursday, September 23, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
I wore my dirndl today - for the first time, my first dirndl. It's like this one below, just some numbers bigger (also, some more "filling" in it):
An arschloch made a hole on my apron with a bloody cigarette, while another one spilt beer. I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I have to put up with the consequences of these vices....
An arschloch made a hole on my apron with a bloody cigarette, while another one spilt beer. I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I have to put up with the consequences of these vices....
I had to go to the dentist and of course it was a nightmare. With my previous painful experiences with these sadist professionals, I was reluctant about visiting another one. Especially if I'm in Germany and can't speak a word of German. German dentist! Somehow it sounds creepier than just "dentist".
Then I went to this dentist, following a recommendation of a work colleague (I couldn't help but wonder: maybe she hates me and sent me to the worst dentist in town?). My vivid imagination wasn't really helping, I could imagine all sorts of things going wrong... I was greeted in German by the secretary, I replied in English, she replied in German again. We couldn't understand each other, but it was the least of my problems... I entered the consultation room and was left there to wait. I was scanning everything in that room - Harvard certificate on the wall (not bad...), clean and spacious work space, the dreadful drilling device beside me - the memory of that noise creeps the shit out of me. Then I saw a music player device next to the "torture" chair. I went to look at the CDs to see what musical taste this dentist would have - when I saw this:
My vivid imagination came back: what if he wasn't a sadist but a PERVERT instead? The type who would give you anaesthetics and put you to sleep and do all these sick things while you were blacked out? Why would a professional dentist have an "erotic lounge" CD at his consultation room? What a horrible impression even before meeting the poor soul!
Ok, I don't need to tell you all about my periodontal issues that I need to follow up - yeah, I wouldn't want to read about it either. But I must tell you how wrong I was: he was a great dentist, and spoke great English! Surely I was uncomfortable when he suggested a general anaesthesia that would put me to sleep while I had my wisdom teeth removed - I remembered the "erotic lounge" and my graphical imagination - no, thanks! "I like being awake and aware of everything that's happening" was my answer.
So to all dentists around - don't bring your erotic lounge CDs or any other CD of its kind - you might have a fucked up imaginative patient like me, who would be posting something on their blog suggesting you could be a pervert, when you're actually the best dentist in town.
Then I went to this dentist, following a recommendation of a work colleague (I couldn't help but wonder: maybe she hates me and sent me to the worst dentist in town?). My vivid imagination wasn't really helping, I could imagine all sorts of things going wrong... I was greeted in German by the secretary, I replied in English, she replied in German again. We couldn't understand each other, but it was the least of my problems... I entered the consultation room and was left there to wait. I was scanning everything in that room - Harvard certificate on the wall (not bad...), clean and spacious work space, the dreadful drilling device beside me - the memory of that noise creeps the shit out of me. Then I saw a music player device next to the "torture" chair. I went to look at the CDs to see what musical taste this dentist would have - when I saw this:
My vivid imagination came back: what if he wasn't a sadist but a PERVERT instead? The type who would give you anaesthetics and put you to sleep and do all these sick things while you were blacked out? Why would a professional dentist have an "erotic lounge" CD at his consultation room? What a horrible impression even before meeting the poor soul!
Ok, I don't need to tell you all about my periodontal issues that I need to follow up - yeah, I wouldn't want to read about it either. But I must tell you how wrong I was: he was a great dentist, and spoke great English! Surely I was uncomfortable when he suggested a general anaesthesia that would put me to sleep while I had my wisdom teeth removed - I remembered the "erotic lounge" and my graphical imagination - no, thanks! "I like being awake and aware of everything that's happening" was my answer.
So to all dentists around - don't bring your erotic lounge CDs or any other CD of its kind - you might have a fucked up imaginative patient like me, who would be posting something on their blog suggesting you could be a pervert, when you're actually the best dentist in town.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Is it the 200th or 177th Oktoberfest in 2010?
I was puzzled with this question... I read everywhere it's the 200th anniversary of this big beer fest, but even on their official website they mentioned it's their 177th Oktoberfest. I played detective and found out that:
"Although this year is actually the 177th Oktoberfest because the outdoor festival has been canceled 24 times because of war and cholera epidemics, festival organizers are celebrating the anniversary, with special events, including staging horse races at a nearby arena for the first time since 1938."
Thanks to Seth Robbins from Stars and Stripes everything is clear now: it's the 177th Oktoberfest in absolute number of fests and also the 200th anniversary of the first Wiesn (=Oktoberfest).
I was puzzled with this question... I read everywhere it's the 200th anniversary of this big beer fest, but even on their official website they mentioned it's their 177th Oktoberfest. I played detective and found out that:
"Although this year is actually the 177th Oktoberfest because the outdoor festival has been canceled 24 times because of war and cholera epidemics, festival organizers are celebrating the anniversary, with special events, including staging horse races at a nearby arena for the first time since 1938."
Thanks to Seth Robbins from Stars and Stripes everything is clear now: it's the 177th Oktoberfest in absolute number of fests and also the 200th anniversary of the first Wiesn (=Oktoberfest).
Friday, September 17, 2010
Preparation for the Oktoberfest - went shopping for my first dirndl.. First what?? FIRST DIRNDL! D-I-R-N-D-L! Have you ever seen 4 consonants together? Me neither... Now, try to pronounce it, without using any vowels... That's ok, I nearly broke my tongue too - well, tongues can't break, stupid me!
Back to the dirndl: it's a girl's farmer dress. That's it. Oh no, that's not it, it's also the official dress code for the Oktoberfest (for women, although I've seen men wearing it too - picture below).
So it's all about pimping a farmer's look, and making it look luxurious. Hard? Not really, I've been wondering around the streets of Munich and found many dirndls (5th consonant - ahhhh my toooongue!) for the modest sum of €1,800. Ok, I'll give you some time to process this: ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED EUROS! Or if you prefer, EIGHTEEN HUNDRED EUROS! Yes, for a farmer's dress. Breath in. Breath out. Again.
Ok, better now? Well, I'll be proudly featuring my C&A dirndl with my head high, and with my pocket less "raped": it cost €129, it's my first dirndl and it's beautiful, despite all the weird faces of my work colleagues when I said:
- I bought my first dirndl, it's beautiful!
-Oh really, where did you buy?
-C&A.
(longest 3 seconds followed by a indescribable face: mixed of disappointment and attempt to hide it, to also hide their own prejudice against this brand). Then they try to fill in the gap with other questions:
- Oh, which colour? (Why? We're not going to wear the same dirndls, you obviously don't shop at C&A!)
- What's the style? (WTF? Isn't a dirndl already a style within its own concept? Hmmm Latex style, Dominatrix style? You're messing up more, mate...)
Yes, I'll be happily partying with my C&A dirndl! And yes, IT IS NICE AND BEAUTIFUL. And I'll rock at the Oktoberfest this year!
Back to the dirndl: it's a girl's farmer dress. That's it. Oh no, that's not it, it's also the official dress code for the Oktoberfest (for women, although I've seen men wearing it too - picture below).
So it's all about pimping a farmer's look, and making it look luxurious. Hard? Not really, I've been wondering around the streets of Munich and found many dirndls (5th consonant - ahhhh my toooongue!) for the modest sum of €1,800. Ok, I'll give you some time to process this: ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED EUROS! Or if you prefer, EIGHTEEN HUNDRED EUROS! Yes, for a farmer's dress. Breath in. Breath out. Again.
Ok, better now? Well, I'll be proudly featuring my C&A dirndl with my head high, and with my pocket less "raped": it cost €129, it's my first dirndl and it's beautiful, despite all the weird faces of my work colleagues when I said:
- I bought my first dirndl, it's beautiful!
-Oh really, where did you buy?
-C&A.
(longest 3 seconds followed by a indescribable face: mixed of disappointment and attempt to hide it, to also hide their own prejudice against this brand). Then they try to fill in the gap with other questions:
- Oh, which colour? (Why? We're not going to wear the same dirndls, you obviously don't shop at C&A!)
- What's the style? (WTF? Isn't a dirndl already a style within its own concept? Hmmm Latex style, Dominatrix style? You're messing up more, mate...)
Yes, I'll be happily partying with my C&A dirndl! And yes, IT IS NICE AND BEAUTIFUL. And I'll rock at the Oktoberfest this year!
Back from the dead! Oh Yeah!
No breaking the ice anymore, let's skip this part. Because it's party time where I am: Munich! I'm at the heart of alcoholism and Oktoberfest! Perhaps I am the only one who doesn't drink inside those drinking tents, but I have even more fun watching everyone else getting pissed!
It's gonna be the 200th birthday of this 2nd biggest worldwide party (1st is Carnival, of course) and the city goes from 1,3 Million inhabitants to something crazy like 6 Million! Alcoholism rules!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Breaking the ice
Although this blog is a few (or many...) years old, I'd like to give it a serious facelift so it becomes more appealing and sexy. But since we're not that intimate anymore (me, the blog and you, the reader, not exactly in this order), I was hoping to find suitable ways of breaking the ice of writing a 1st post, it's quite hard to find the right balance when you are just shooting in the dark of the world wide web. So I was trying to get inspiration from other websites (stealing ideas and making them my own, if you know what I mean), and came across this blog: Ask the Kid, where the blogger gives some ideas on how to break the ice in these social deadlocks. Wouldn't it sound too boring if I started with: "hi, my name is X and I was born in blablabla"? From reading blogs, I realise that what makes a blog interesting is not an essay about the blogger's life or their profile, but what they can offer you, the reader. It needs to be enticing, sultry... For most, it's our first "date", dear reader, so I need to make it interesting enough for a second (and third...) encounter. The first advice "the Kid" gave was:
1. Make'em laugh - I have a rather dark humour, not sure if it's suitable for the time you'll be reading this post, so let's skip this one.
2. Haiku 4 you (wtf?)
3. Karaoke - I'm sure you'd skip this one if you could listen to me singing
4. Collaborative cooking -not a big fun of a virtual lasagna, my extra pounds figure reveals how much I love REAL food
5. Board games - I love them, but I'd look too nerdy, I have to look SEXY!
6. Improvisation - I am trying! Already wrote a couple of lines!
7. Debate - that's good, but with no readers yet, how can we have a debate? Resolution: POSTPONED
Ok... Will have to work on breaking our ice.. Or maybe I should just let it melt naturally, like what's happening to Antarctica right now. Ha! That's a good lead for a start, I can talk about our climate change issues, Antarctica's ice melting and I'd be on the good e-books for having an eco-friendly blog? Maybe I should put that msg on the bottom of every post, that same one every politically correct person has on their e-mail signature: "Consider Nature before printing this e-mail" and adapt to: "Recycled blog - made from recycled e-leaves, please read it and waste it!" Nah... Boring... I'll try harder on our next date!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)